Shut It Down! How empty (communication) pipelines and a healthy dose of silence can boost your executive presence
Pipeline-related news continues to generate plenty of noise and protests and political posturing, with yesterday's headlines regarding Enbridge Line 5 being no exception. But such news coverage also provides a great excuse to ask whether your unwitting attempts to keep communication pipelines full in conversations and meetings and presentations are making you a less effective leader and diminishing your executive presence.
The headline: 𝐁𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐖𝐇 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐬 (New York Post)
The goal: to (𝐆)𝐫𝐨𝐰, (𝐏)𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 (𝐒)𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 success by pondering these 3 questions throughout your day:
💡 How might a build-up of silence-induced pressure boost your effectiveness?
💡 What damage are you causing by trying to fill the communications pipeline at all costs?
💡 What are all the ways you can efficiently transport your core message to your downstream stakeholders?
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Transcript
(AI training in progress; please excuse any errors)
Hello and welcome to another live edition of the energy detox a petroleum based blend of leadership conversations guaranteed to boost your professional and personal output by flushing away the hidden and often toxic barriers to peak performance. I'm your host, Joe Sinnott, a chemical engineer, executive coach and 16 year energy industry veteran, helping you tap into the same resources fueling today's most successful and sustainable leaders. And today, we're going to talk about how many of those leaders employ the art of silence, being quiet, not filling the pipeline, if you will, with words constantly, and they use that silence to their advantage, to boost their executive presence, to allow themselves and others to think more clearly and more effectively and efficiently. And how those leaders use silence as an antidote to many people in this world who want to get their message out who feel pressed for time who feel like they have their 15 seconds to get their message out. And they get overly excited, much as I do sometimes on the energy detox. So we're going to maybe a bit of irony slow down a little bit. Today, we're going to embrace silence. And we're going to talk about how a proper use of silence can help you as a leader, be more effective in your communication and in turn lead to a more sustainable and successful career. And to drive that conversation as we always do here on the energy detox. We're going to take one energy industry headline that will push us forward that will help us focus on not just the leadership aspects of our topic today, but also weave in some of the ongoing headlines, especially here in the United States where we continue to talk about pipelines, and in particular, and bridges, line five that comes from Canada into the United States and has been rife with protests and threats of closing it down for Michigan's governor and all kinds of conversations that again, it can at some point become somewhat overwhelming, right. And so in those headlines, especially yesterday's headline, we've learned that the White House is indeed investigating whether or not Enbridge line five should be shut down. It's just a study, there's some back and forth. And he said she said in terms of what they claimed they were doing or weren't doing. And And again, we're not going to go into that because there's enough noise. There's enough headache inducing headlines regarding that. But we are going to use that opportunity to talk about figurative pipelines, communication pipelines, and actually make an argument for times when it makes sense to shut down a pipeline to not unnecessarily fill that pipeline with words. Because the reality is giving people time to think giving people time to understand that you're not in any rush to to get what you have to say out of your mouth, that you're willing to be more intentional and contemplative and conscious. In the words you're saying. That's what you want to convey. And if you're seen as a leader, who is hell bent on just jamming everything that you want to say whatever is on your agenda, whatever's on your slides, you want to get that out of your mouth no matter what. And regardless of whether your audience is tuned out or is falling asleep or is on their phones regardless, clearly, if you are in that boat, you're not terribly effective when it comes to communication. So today, we're going to ask three questions to help you grow, protect and sustain success regarding communication. And the first question today is around the idea that sometimes if you allow silence to build up, whether it's in a one on one conversation, whether it's in a large meeting, presentation, whatever the case might be, simply having silence build up can lead to pressure, right, it can change the, the tone of the room in that feeling in the room, even if it's a virtual room. And so the question is, how might a buildup of silence induced pressure boost your effectiveness, because what happens when you shut down a pipeline? Well, if upstream, you're still sending product into that pipeline, you're gonna have a buildup of pressure, that product isn't going anywhere, it's, it's, it's still there, it's still flowing to a certain point, and you're gonna build up pressure in that pipeline, so that when the pipeline is opened back up, and when things are able to flow, it's gonna flow again, in fact, it might even flow at a higher rate and might be flowing more efficiently and effectively. That being said, when you introduce silence into a room, you have the same impact. You can be building a pressure and that pressure can be a good pressure. It can be a pressure that makes people feel like you know, there's something important that's going to be coming out of your mouth, or if you're allowing other people to, you know, formulate their thoughts and you're not pushing and you're not filling the gaps, you're allowing them to perhaps choose their words so that whatever they deliver is more impactful for their audience, whatever the case might be, that could be a good pressure that is built up by you allowing some silence to, to exist, if you will, and not going overboard on filling the pipeline unnecessarily. Now, on the flip side, of course, that pressure can be, you know, can be used, you know, for, for, maybe, I'm gonna say, evil purposes, but you can certainly use it to your advantage, because sometimes that pressure that silence, if you will, can cause people to, you know, squirm a little bit and can actually cause them to fill the pipeline, fill that silence, if you will, and start talking and maybe start revealing things that they wouldn't otherwise. And this is particularly true, if you happen to be in a sales role. And, you know, you, you, you, you reveal your price, you reveal your services to the person on the other end, and then you stop and you leave silence there. Well, if that person on the other end, just kind of sits there in silence and doesn't say anything, well, they can use that to your their advantage, and force you to maybe start saying things and you know, start revealing more than you would otherwise, or start backpedaling or lowering the price or whatever the case might be. I mean, there's a, there is an art, of course, to communication and silence is key. So whether or not you're trying to, you know, when and you're trying to sell something or whether or not you're simply trying to get your message across, ask yourself, Could you use some of that pressure that gets built up when there's silence to your advantage? And conversely, are there times where that pressure is causing you to, you know, in almost play a game of chicken where you're revealing something too quickly, you're real revealing too much, because you feel as necessary to fill that silence.
06:40
The next question, and perhaps a related question is, what damage are you causing by trying to fill the communications pipeline at all costs? Well, as we just said, if you feel the need to talk, because nobody else is, there's a good chance that you're going to start saying things that could hurt your case, if you're trying to make a case or trying to make a point. Again, if you're trying to sell something, and whether it's an idea or a product or service, the more you talk, in many cases, the more likely it is that you're going to hurt yourself, hurt your brand, or your offering whatever the case might be. But more and more important, at least from a long term standpoint than simply hurting your odds of again, selling something or getting your message across in the moment is, of course, the damage that you could be causing to your personal brand, to your brand, as a leader to the executive presence, if you will, that you're trying to convey to those in the audience if you intend to continue moving up and being more effective. And that's the type of damage that you want to avoid. So before you speak, before you feel the urge to feel the silence, again, ask yourself, is it necessary? Would you be causing damage to yourself, your team's your message, whatever the case might be, because in some cases, that damage maybe can't be repaired? You know, obviously, going back to the pipeline headline, those who believe that the whatever it is 5060 year old pipeline should be shut down. Because if it were to leak, it could cause catastrophic damage and the Great Lakes and so on and so forth. Well, again, similarly, if you're leaking out a toxic message unwittingly, simply because you're opening your mouth unnecessarily? What is that long lasting damage, both from your, you know, again, social licensed operator, the equivalent for you from a leadership standpoint that Enbridge would obviously lose if there is some uncontrolled release from that underwater pipeline, again, for you, how could that uncontrolled release, if you will lead to long term damage for your career, especially if you have the opportunity to get in front of an audience that you're not used to getting in front of, and this is very common when I'm working with individuals who are looking to, again, move upwards, and build their reputation and build their ability to communicate with people when they find themselves in audiences that maybe they're they're not used to being in front of, there is a tendency to be excited and to want to convey what you want to convey and to just talking to, and again, to fill that silence whenever pops up into eliminated at all costs. But again, you are not doing yourself any favors, people are looking to you they're looking at your body language, and nothing can convey, you know, more confidence better than effective use of silence and not silence from you know, simply being an introvert and, and maybe, you know, closing yourself in and some people do that, right? I mean, they'll you'll see their with their hands and their body. And they'll kind of slouch and that's not what you want. If you could sit there confidently, and listen and not stare somebody down, maybe look off to the side and show that, you know, you're thinking you're conscious. And you're not just avoiding conflict, you're not just waiting for somebody else to step in. You are they're gathering your thoughts out of respect for the people in the room. And if you don't do that, if you're unable to realize that, taking a breath, taking a moment to stop to ground yourself before you speak, if you're not aware that that's powerful stuff, and then when you're not doing it again, it can damage you and your reputation, where you're asking for trouble and it's going to limit your ability to move on to move upwards and again to lead your team to long term success. And the final question today is, what are all the ways you can efficiently transport your core message to your downstream stakeholders? Because of course, if I'm figuratively advocating for the shutdown of pipelines at times to, to allow those empty pipelines to be used for other purposes, if you will? Well, the question is alright, well, what are other ways that you can reroute? How else can you get your message from point A to point B, especially in a world where we're not necessarily in rooms where, you know, the timing, if you will, regarding silence can be easier, right? silence on a zoom call can be very challenging, it doesn't quite have the same impact when, you know, there is only one or two people talking and it's not like other people in the room can look at themselves and who wants to jump in? It's a totally different dynamic. So the question for you is, what are all the ways you can introduce silence into your day?
10:56
Can you pick up the phone and call somebody one on one, where, again, the human conversation I mean, silence, obviously, is auditory, it's based on a sound or lack of sound. One of the most effective things that I find is a phone call more so than a zoom, certainly more so than, you know, Slack communications, or chat, or texts or emails, or whatever. Because again, you have that timing element, you know that if you are there as a leader and you are introducing silence, or you're, as they would say, holding silence for that other person, it's a lot easier to feel it's not the same as being in person, of course, but it is a better dynamic than sometimes being over zoom, where the timing might be a little off that technology, the lags Where are people looking, all those extra elements that take away from just the human voice, and me asking you a question, and then allowing you time to think through it. That's what I do as a coach. One of the prerequisites for coaching is allowing other people to basically sit in silence and gather their thoughts. And my job is to hold that silence for them to not fill the gap to not talk, if I asked you a question, my job is to then not fill the gap and try to start answering for you ask a follow up question and try to clarify and insult you by thinking that you didn't understand my question. No, my job is to ask you the question and make sure that you're aware of that. Take your time, you think through it. And of course, you know, this is this is key, and it goes well beyond your professional life and goes into your personal life. Right? If you have young children or even older children, right, you're, you're used to there being constant noise. I mean, my wife and I clamor for the times where we can actually share thoughts back and forth without being interrupted. It's precious, that silence is absolutely precious. But what happens when we feel like we only have a 10 or 15 second gap to talk before the next kid comes around and has to ask something, interject something? Well, we find ourselves getting excited and getting it out there and induces more stress. And we weren't going backwards in many cases, because we're not making time for silence. And again, it's easier said than done during the course of a day. But in a business setting. Theoretically, it's a little bit easier for you to be in control, to exercise that silence, to know that there shouldn't be little kids coming in and interrupting you and you're in your meetings necessarily. Again, obviously, it happens in this world of remote work, but but from a from a leadership standpoint, you are in control, then there should be less distractions. And there shouldn't be this need or this pressure on the people that you're communicating with, especially if those are people who report to you or who are looking to you for guidance, there shouldn't be this pressure for them to just go go go and talk, talk talk. In fact, quite the opposite. They should have the knowledge that they can take their time, they can gather their thoughts, they can, you know, count to two or three, as long as two or three seconds can feel. And it's up to you to make that happen. And again, there's lots of ways to do that, and ask yourself what are those ways? So with that, as always, I appreciate your your time, your attention here and and certainly hope that this exercise of embracing silence looking for opportunities to to not fill the figurative communications pipeline, if you will, you know, I do hope this helps you because I know it helps me at times helps me as a coach, it helps me as a parent, it helps me as a husband, when I can just take the time to shut up as difficult as that might be and as I can as ironic as that might seem for someone who had no problem here filling nearly 15 minutes of a podcast yet again. But with all that being said, thank you again. I hope you have an excellent rest of the day and take care