Leadership Implosions and the Benefits of Blowing Up Your Internal Connections
Do you ever feel like your time and energy are escaping over a bridge to nowhere?
Have you ever considered yourself as CEO…of yourself?
And do you ever desire to proactively set off a few targeted charges to avoid an uncontrolled explosion later on?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions…or if you just want to understand the benefits of having a team meeting where you’ll address each different version of yourself, then we invite you to enjoy this episode of The Energy Detox podcast.
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TRANSCRIPT:
00:00
[Sound of explosion]
Woman: "This was just amazing. It's better than you see on TV. It's just so cool. I love that."
00:09
This was just amazing? It's better than you see on TV? It was just so cool? I loved it? Are these the words of a person who has experienced the power of one-on-one coaching? Well, not exactly, but it is the reaction of someone in Pittsburgh—the "city of bridges"—after watching a bridge implosion. And in today's episode, you'll generate the same reaction by blowing up a few of your own bridges criss-crossing inside of you that have been leading you away from your ultimate destination.
00:54
Hello and welcome to The Energy Detox, a petroleum-based blend of leadership conversations guaranteed to boost your professional and personal output by flushing away the hidden—and often toxic—barriers to peak performance.
01:10
I'm your host, Joe Sinnott—a chemical engineer, executive coach and 15 year energy industry veteran—helping you tap into the same resources fueling today's most successful and sustainable leaders.
01:23
And in today's conversation, we'll focus on the connections holding those leaders together in the face of unrelenting challenges, and we'll see how those connections can be bridges to a sustainable future. And we're not talking LinkedIn connections or the all-important connections formed with colleagues and co-workers and even future spouses as we did in Episode 4. In fact, we're not talking about external connections of any sort.
01:49
Today, we're talking about internal connections, the ones that are—or at least should be—allowing you to maintain a high level of personal and professional performance, regardless of what's going on around you. Because when you have bad connections or inefficient connections or connections that turn out to be a dead end, what does that mean? Well, it means wasted time and wasted energy and unnecessary frustration.
02:15
Think of a bad cellphone connection where each party is only hearing a fraction of what the other is saying...or a bad internet connection on a Zoom call, causing your video feed to freeze at the most inopportune times.
02:27
And if you're drilling an oil or gas well, you might think of one of the most significant measures of efficiency that actually involves connections. And if you're not familiar with drilling-related connections, I promise you that you've at least seen photos or even videos of connections being made on a rig, whether you realize it or not.
The time it takes to make connections while drilling a well is one of the most important metrics used when evaluating drilling efficiency.
And that image of people on a rig floor making connections seems to be the best way to capture the key role of a roughneck, which is why it's the activity that pops up if you Google "roughneck" right now. And what you'll see in those images are two lengths of drill pipe essentially being screwed together so that the (drill) bit at the bottom of all the lengths of pipe can keep drilling deeper and deeper.
03:06
And there are a number of steps that occur during each connection. And typically, the more skilled the crew is, then the faster and safer they can make connections, saving the operator (who is paying the bills) money...because when you're making dozens and dozens of connections per day, the time it takes to make each individual connection is, of course, amplified...just as the inefficiency of any repetitive operation in any business is amplified.
03:28
And if you remove the bad connections and the slow connections (and if you implode a few bridges, if you will...or spruce up existing bridges), you're going to start making much better use of your energy and time and—by extension—produce better and more sustainable results as you head towards whatever your ultimate destination is.
03:48
Because what might the idea of a poor connection (not related to cell phones or the internet or drilling) call to mind? How about the idea of an old bridge? And what does an old bridge make you think of? Well, for one, it might call to mind safety concerns. And here in Pennsylvania, we've got plenty of bridges, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that we also have the second most number of structurally deficient bridges in the country with some safety concerns of some sort.
04:15
And secondly, it might not have the most efficient flow of traffic, often because it's going to be narrower narrow than modern bridges...and because each end of the bridge probably has a traffic pattern that's been in place for nearly a century. And improving the structural integrity and the overall traffic flow of a bridge so that you can safely get to your destination without wasting energy is very much the mission of The Energy Detox and of my work as a coach. And my mission is also to avoid the immense cost and time it takes to build a new bridge. Which is why today we will only focus on how existing connections and existing bridges can help you achieve results before going down the potentially costly path of constructing a new bridge and new connections that you might not need.
05:04
And before getting into today's discussions of bridge maintenance and closures and roadwork—all of which are things that we as drivers often view is largely outside of our control—let's quickly review and connect together the last 10 episodes, all of which asked questions about the things you do have the ability to control while figuratively driving toward peak performance. And whether or not you've listened to any of those prior conversations, I invite you now to briefly ponder the key question from each of those episodes before we start developing a bridge maintenance and demolition plan today.
So in Episode 2, we asked how much trust are you putting in a potentially misleading GPS?
From Episode 3: how conscious are you of how your driving habits are impacting the people who are following close behind you?
From Episode 4: are you effectively communicating with other drivers, or are you more like an autonomous vehicle unable to see and process the unique cues of human beings?
From Episode 5: have you unwittingly committed to an outdated map or set of directions that should really just be ripped up
From Episode 6: how well do you actually take advantage of and extract value from occasional detours and traffic jams?
From Episode 7: is someone siphoning your tank and draining your precious energy...or are you unwittingly draining the fuel of your stakeholders?
From Episode 8: are you ignoring signs that you or your stakeholders aren't even driving towards a destination that you desire?
From Episode 9: are you capturing the unique and entertaining stories that road trips often lead to and, in turn, logging the seemingly trivial experiences that can ultimately reveal a whole lot about you and your mission?
From Episode 10: do you think that arriving late to a destination despite meticulous planning that happened to be up-ended by things outside of your control means that you should beat yourself up for not having left a few minutes earlier?
And from Episode 11: do you drive scared and worried about potential hazards, or do you drive prepared to quickly adapt when driving conditions suddenly change?
07:15
And all of those questions from all of those episodes were around things that you can control as a leader or as a driver. And all of those conversations were based on an approach that has yielded results in leaders that have come to me for navigation assistance, if you will. And having those proven tools "along for the ride" can enhance your ability to respond better when barriers inevitably pop up.
07:40
And so if my claim that we're now going to help you "blow up bridges" sounds like we're going to start talking about things that are typically OUTSIDE of your control, please remember what we said earlier: that we're not talking about other people's bridges...we're talking about your own bridges.
07:54
And we're not talking about literally blowing up bridges...unless of course you work for a downhole perforating company and you have access to explosive charges or the tools required to detonate them. So, we'll stick with figurative explosions. And we'll give you the tools to ask which connections are slowing you down as a leader and which ones can indeed be blown up...or at the very least bypassed.
08:16
And the original idea for identifying bad internal connections and blowing up some of your personal bridges didn't originally come from professional experience of mine or from a formal coaching conversation with someone. No, it actually came from a simple conversation with my wife during a particularly overwhelming day earlier in this age of COVID when we were using a few precious seconds of quiet our children gave us to figure out how we wanted the rest of our day to go.
08:43
And as we went through the laundry list of items to tackle (including laundry, of course), we had this revelation of sorts that we weren't talking about tasks, as much as we were talking about all of our different "roles" that we play within the family. We weren't asking if we should prioritize paying bills or making dinner or sewing a new mask for one of the ones that we lost? No, we were asking which of our many hats made sense to put on in that moment: the accountant hat, cook hat, the seamstress hat?
09:15
And going further down the list, we weren't asking if we needed to bathe the kids, fix the broken toilet, or water the garden, for example. We were really asking whether we needed to jump into our role as a parent, as a handyman, or as a gardener that particular afternoon. And yes, it's very easy to argue that as a parent, a spouse, or a homeowner, you don't need to create a bunch of separate smaller roles and titles because those larger ones already imply a whole bunch of added responsibilities. But the reality in all areas of life is that many of us are constantly jumping from role to role and from "Identity A" to "Identity B."
09:51
And if you've worked in any organization, you know that people tend to take pride in their individual roles, which is great...except when that pride leads to an unhealthy amount of competition and to people who are constantly jockeying for attention and resources and perhaps acting in their self-interest and out of fear of losing their jobs and—by extension—people who have lost sight of the organization's ultimate objectives. And in high-functioning organizations, you see these different roles and different people mesh and blend and work together. Heck, you can probably picture any number of beautiful corporate propaganda pieces, showing an organization that is incredibly interconnected with no silos and with full collaboration and full utilization of everyone's talents and with everyone's singing Kumbaya as they work together towards some common grand mission.
10:34
And that image and that goal is obviously not bad, because a large organization can't just work off of a giant to-do list of things that need to get done and expect everyone to pick a task and go. No! I mean, within a given department, sure, that (just working off of a list of items) might work if you have a ticketing system of some sort where tasks come in and are picked up and completed by the appropriate people. But at a higher level, people need to realistically understand the scope and the limitations of their roles in order to complement others and to work effectively towards common goals.
11:04
So with this corporate image in mind, let's come back to the focus of this conversation which, of course, is YOU...and the internal organization that exists within you and within your mind. And yes, you might have that running to-do list in your mind. But in reality, what I'd argue you have are actually different departments with different versions of yourself who have different skillsets and experiences and biases and approaches and priorities to handle all the different tasks on that list, right?
11:32
I mean, it's even in the language we use. If you blow a fuse in your house, you might say, "Hold on everyone...let me put on my "electrician cap" for a moment and take care of things."
11:41
Or if a child gets a giant gash in his foot or gets stung by a bee, you might say, "Hold on, I need to jump into nurse mode," as if you're becoming a different version of yourself for a moment.
11:51
Even the Holiday Inn Express commercials capture this notion that we all play different roles throughout the day, even if we're just pretending to be in them because we stayed at a particular hotel chain last night. And when you're in such a role and when you're in character, there's a good chance you're into it 100%, right? And when you're into it 100%, that often means that some other role—some other internal role that we're talking about today...some internal version of yourself...suffers or loses out, or is at least cast aside for a moment.
How many different “Holiday Inn Express Guests” do you have hanging out inside of you at any given moment?
12:20
And what does that mean? What's the impact of that approach? Well, it means that when I, Joe, am trying to fix a leaking toilet, for example...well, in my mind, it's not just "Joe fixing the toilet." In my mind and in that moment, I'm a real plumber and everything else going on around me can wait. And when that happens, I might lose sight of the other hats I could or should be wearing in that moment because "Joe the Plumber" has garnered all of my energy and attention. And if that happens, is my plumber hat holding me back from being a good dad or husband...is my wife's "seamstress hat" holding her back from being a mom or wife because she's intent on sewing some new masks? Probably not. But do we at times use these roles as excuses to let our other roles suffer and, more importantly, to lose sight of whatever greater purpose we might have on a given day...or even in the long term?
13:12
Because while some people are gifted at moving items around on a list and characterizing certain ones as less important than others, the moment a particular task turns you into a new character, something happens...and the same unhealthy competition and jockeying for time and energy and attention that occurs within organizations and teams can take hold inside of you. And in many cases, it's not necessary and it can be a barrier to optimal performance and to whatever ultimate objective you're trying to get to.
13:39
So all those characters—the plumber, seamstress, nurse, cook, coach, musician, electrician, artist, athlete, employee, parent, child, sibling, spouse—picture separate versions of you dressed up as all these different people (or whatever 10 or 12 different roles might apply to you). And all of these different versions of you are standing around—let's say in your living room—and they're all standing around figuring out how to make the most out of the rest of the day.
14:06
And if you were in charge of managing all of these people—and obviously, my hope by the end of today's discussion is that you become better at managing the different versions of you—you might listen to each person's arguments for why they should be first in line to get their tasks done. And you're going to ask them a few questions like, "Well, is your job really necessary to be done today?...How much time and energy do you need to get this particular task done?...Is there someone else who can maybe do this job better?...Do you really fit in with the overall objectives that we have going on today?"
14:37
And if the answers to those questions are not satisfactory, you have two clear courses of action as the manage:
1) you tell them to pack up and go home and come back in another day; or
2) you tell them to figure out how to collaborate with other versions of yourself...or re-assign their tasks because you're not going to pay them full rate or give them any support if they decide to move forward on their own.
14:59
And why are we talking about just these 2 different options of managing all these different characters inside of you? Well, it's your job as a manager or as a leader to understand how your resources are connected to your objectives. And if a resource—whether it's an employee or a machine or a software package—at a company isn't connected in some way to the company's overall mission, there's typically two things that happen:
1) you sever your relationship with that resource; or
2) you determine how that resource can more efficiently align with other resources to produce results that do further your mission and do add value.
15:41
And as someone managing the team within yourself, you have complete power to sever connections that aren't working out, or to rewire things so that your internal network better serves your overall mission. And that's why it's so critical that we examine these internal connections, these internal networks, these internal teams made up of different hats and functions and roles and departments...and make sure that all of them are completely aligned with our overall objectives...and to be prepared to take action when they're not aligned and when they don't lead us to our ultimate destination.
16:14
And to double up on metaphors today, I argue that this internal team of yours could also be represented by a transportation infrastructure that includes dozens of bridges, which, of course, are simply connections from one place to another. And if those bridges or connections are not serving a purpose and don't actually help traffic flow more efficiently towards their ultimate destination and toward some higher level goal, you have the same two options we just described:
1) "sever your relationship" with those bridges by blowing them up; or
2) figure out how to re-purpose them or improve them so that they better serve some greater purpose. And maybe that (new purpose) happens to be turning an old bridge into a pedestrian walkway or into a dedicated bike path...or maybe some bridges are made to be only one-way to improve overall traffic flow...or maybe you seek out an underused bridge that winds up being a much more scenic and stress-free route for you to travel, even if it takes a little bit longer to get to.
17:17
And whatever metaphor you want to use to represent your internal connections—either a network of bridges or a corporate org chart of employees—the point is that you are in charge of assessing which connections add value and which ones don't. And much of what I do as a coach involves helping people make those assessments and those decisions; and my hope today with this conversation is to help you develop a mindset that gives you the tools to do the SAME thing, especially when the internal connections or bridges or versions of yourself that are holding you back are not obviously holding you back.
17:54
Because what I see over and over and over again is that the biggest barriers for people tend not to be inherently bad, which can make them more difficult to find and address. And when all of those potential barriers blend together on one giant, boring "to-do list," nothing stands out and people's eyes tend to gloss over. But when you start to turn different choices and elements of your life into different "versions of yourself" with different personalities and different clothes and different hats...or when you start to see each one as a separate bridge with different character and charm and functionality and—most importantly—with something different on the other side of each bridge, it can be far easier to look at your overall responsibilities much more objectively.
18:41
And based on the results I've witnessed, if you use the bridge metaphor, and if you start to look at internal bridges that might look majestic and inviting, but maybe aren't the right paths for you, then no matter how much you might think those bridges fuel your passions, if you determine that they're actually bridges to nowhere or bridges to somewhere that leads you further from your ultimate destination, then it becomes much easier to blow up a given bridge than if you didn't have such an image.
19:12
And for many of us who have had such bridges or elements of our lives completely blown up over the last few months without even asking for it—thanks to the coronavirus—now is the time to realize how refreshing and amazing some of those implosions have been and look for some more. And if by chance you can't think of any examples of these implosions, let's go ahead and start with sports. Because while many of us miss sports to some degree, there are lots of people realizing that the time and energy and money devoted to your favorite teams might not have been as satisfying as previously thought.
19:47
And if you're one of those people who might wind up with hundreds or thousands of dollars back in your pocket this year by not buying season tickets or paying for unnecessary sports television packages, there's an awfully good chance you're kind of glad things got blown up. And if given the chance to resurrect your costly connections to your beloved sports in the future, you might be inclined to say, "No thanks. I'm not interested in rebuilding that bridge." Which then begs the question of what other connections can be severed?
20:15
But as important as getting rid of bad connections and blowing up dilapidated bridges is, if I take a (very non-scientific) look back at people I've helped to identify and deal with "internal bridges to nowhere," I'd argue that of the connections they identify as potential problems or roadblocks or hindrances to peak performance, only a third of the connections really need to be blown up.
Another third don't need to be blown up or undergo a major renovation; they simply need to be temporarily and consciously shut down.
And we tend to discover that the remaining third of those potentially problematic connections just need to be re-purposed and re-branded to be used in newer and more productive ways than they have been.
20:58
And getting into an example of a bridge that might appear to be no good, but might just need to be revisited…if you are in a corporate leadership role, do you try to keep your job duties disconnected from your personal roles and responsibilities? Do you set aside your personal volunteer endeavors or hobbies or interests when you're working with your professional teams? Do you limit discussions of the supposedly dangerous topics of politics and religion and keep them at 20,000 feet only...and maybe share your thoughts on them in the absolute safest way possible?
21:25
If you do, why? Because you think turning on one of those connections is somehow going to hurt your ability to perform your professional duties? Is it because you're so on guard against the fear of work and home life blending together that you keep all these connections separate at all costs? Is it because you falsely assume that thinking about or talking about your spouse or children or dogs or neighbors when stepping through some business plan or strategic discussion would be nothing more than a distraction? Is it because you think it's easier to blow up or detour around those personal connections so that you can put 100% attention on your career responsibilities?
22:03
And if you've answered "yes" to any of those, then I'd argue that you're doing yourself and your stakeholders a disservice. You're limiting the chances of innovative and creative thinking that might be generated from those personal connections. And you might unwittingly be causing others to ignore connections that could lead to better performance from them and from your organization.
22:23
And, yes, the coronavirus and work-from-home realities have blurred the personal and professional lines a bit. But too many people have been conditioned over the years to believe falsely that work/life balance means that you separate the two as much as possible. But that mindset ignores the value that can be generated when work and home are appropriately integrated and connected.
22:46
And if I'm an employee, I want my superiors connecting their family lives to their work lives. I want them talking about the realities and challenges of supporting a spouse and kids and tying that into the realities and challenges of supporting teams of employees and contractors. And I want colleagues who are reasonably open about the things they do outside of work because that could engender all kinds of new ideas and support in ways that they might not understand, but that might make a world of difference in how I approach things.
23:17
And I don't want those things—professional colleagues sharing appropriate amounts of personal connections—because I'm desperately seeking empathy. No, I want those things because it demonstrates how interconnected our different roles and responsibilities are, and how important it is to acknowledge and embrace the interplay between such roles and responsibilities. And by talking openly about all of those different elements and all of those different versions of ourselves, it can ultimately help people weed out or blow up the ones that no longer serve us and that might be stealing our precious time and energy.
23:49
And this interconnectedness—this acknowledgement of all the connections we have flying around inside of us—is in many ways one of the fundamental ideas behind the executive coaching that I do. And sure I help people build stronger connections with others. Sure, I help people identify toxic external relationships and associations that need to be dealt with. And sure I help people understand how their leadership approach may unwittingly be destroying their external network and their credibility upon which they hope to build a more sustainable career.
24:20
But it's the internal connections that are sometimes the strongest and the sneakiest and the most difficult ones to deal with because they generate the most resistance. But when you realize that you are essentially an executive of the complex organization that exists within you and that you're the CEO of "John Doe Industries," if you will...when you acknowledge that, then you also acknowledge that you need to have at least a fundamental understanding of how each part of your internal organization interacts.
24:50
And you and your internal management team should be holding departments accountable for their roles in achieving the organization's ultimate objectives. And if you carry this executive mindset into your own personal life and if you acknowledge that no matter what roles you've had in your career, right now you no longer wear the hat of a staff accountant or engineer or geologist or business analyst or whatever you used to be...and that you no longer represent just yourself or a small team...and that you have far wider responsibilities...and that you might have to take action to deal with some other leaders within your organization or some other teams who don't align with your company's vision...or who produce far too much toxicity.
25:35
And the action you might need to take is to disconnect some of those toxic resources and form better connections from ones that already exist without having to blow everything up and start from scratch.
25:49
Which brings us back to the individual roles and hats you might wear on any given day...and why it's so valuable to think of yourself as the CEO that manages all of those different versions of yourself wearing all of those different hats. And when the "chef version of you" says that making a nice family dinner will prevent the family from enjoying time together outside because the chef needs to spend an hour in the kitchen, well, it's your job to tell the chef he doesn't have to worry about job security and that it's okay if the family just orders a pizza tonight instead.
26:18
And if the "seamstress version of yourself" feels obligated to sew some homemade masks because you have some fabric and the neighbors all have homemade masks, well, it might be up to you to tell that version of yourself that the fabric and the sewing machine aren't going anywhere and that there's no shame in buying a box of masks online.
26:36
And if you're excited to put on your "plumber's hat" and spend far too long trying to fix a toilet that a real plumber could do the right way and in 25% of the time, then it's up to you to tell the "plumber version of yourself" that the toilet can be out of commission for another day and that his unofficial plumber's license won't be taken away if you sit this task out and call someone else in to help.
26:55
And so if you've ever felt that prioritizing a list of tasks—either short-term or long-term—can feel draining and debilitating, I'd argue again that it's because you're not just dealing with a list of tasks, but that it's because you're dealing with individual versions of yourself replete with pride and fears of job security and a desire for relevance. And all of those things and all of those individuals can be tough to deal with.
27:25
But when you put on your CEO hat and you actually talk to yourself like you would to an employee and you ask questions (of yourself…or yourselves), you start to uncover some areas where different versions of yourself are not as connected to your overall objectives, as you may have fooled yourself into thinking you were. And some of those versions of yourself need to either be set aside or reassigned to some other task.
27:47
Said another way, if those versions of yourself are simply bridges to different islands that will strain your precious resources, you might need to blow up those bridges and reroute your energy elsewhere.
27:57
And by translating all of your many tasks into either a bridge or an individual employee wearing a particular hat, I promise you that you will find it to be a far less onerous way of cutting through the barriers holding you back from achieving peak performance and navigating the un-ending list of things that you feel you need to get done. And the good thing is, you can do it with a bit of a chuckle too, because, if you start talking to different versions of yourself or envisioning some internal bridges being imploded, you might get some odd looks if anybody's standing nearby.
28:29
So all that being said, I've used a lot of time to connect a lot of analogies to make a simple point: that you need to recognize the internal connections that are not serving you well, and you need to decide what to do with them.
28:43
And unless you enjoy spending time and energy and money introducing new resources and new versions of yourself and new connections and building new bridges, my point today is that you should first visualize that internal org chart showing all the different versions of you…or that roadmap showing all of the many bridges criss-crossing inside of you.
29:01
And the beauty of these exercises is that you can do them yourself. You can give them a try now or the next time you're reworking your seemingly overwhelming priority list. And remember that the goal is no longer to think of the individual things you need to do or the choices you need to make, but to pretend each item is being presented to you by some separate version of yourself making a case for why his or her task or option is most important, most relevant, and most helpful.
29:29
For example, if you're trying to get work done and your child wants to play catch at the same time, don't overthink the pros and cons of either choice. Watch your inner parent and your inner worker bee stand there and argue against each other about which one should win out and encourage them to find a solution that best serves your overall mission. Because you as the overarching CEO shouldn't be the arbiter over every trivial thing within your organization. But if you need to step in, you will!
29:57
Or, as another example, if you're deciding between going on a hike and reading a book, visualize the "outdoorsman version of yourself" debating the "bookworm version of yourself" and envision them trying to come up with some agreement, arguing their case back and forth on which one should be chosen. And if they can't agree, then you step in as CEO and ask them the questions that will help resolve the situation...or you threaten to fire both of them and then go ahead and watch a Netflix show instead.
30:24
And so, before I continue ignoring my own advice by trying to connect far more analogies than are needed to get today's relatively simple point across, I'll leave you with today's final question, which is…
“Am I unwittingly micromanaging the dozens of versions of myself instead of facilitating collaboration and innovation among the various members of my inner organization?”
30:52
And as you ponder that, please allow me, your host Joe Sinnott, to thank you and whatever version of yourself convinced you to to actually listen this far into today's conversation.
And if you would like to learn more about how I help people avoid self-imploding by selectively blowing up a few internal bridges, then please visit theenergydetox.com.
And until next time, please remember that talking to yourself and calling an internal team meeting to drive conversations among all the different versions of you can actually be one of the healthiest and most effective paths to sustained success...no matter how crazy you may look to others.
Thanks again.